I always seem to feel like I am wearing the wrong costume. As if we switched scenes so rapidly and jarringly the director forgot to mention it to me. I cannot seem to keep up with the constantly changing backdrops and cast of characters—they all change costumes so naturally, fluidly, imperceptibly and I end up saying all the wrong lines.

I am persona non grata in each scenario–the odd man out, the sole person not in on the conspiracy and I watch as they sit in quiet corners and whisper in hushed tones about things I know nothing about. I listen as they laugh at punchlines I don’t quite understand. I wish I could throw on their personality and slip seamlessly into their behaviour, I could listen and understand, I could talk and be heard.

It would be easier if I simply had costumes to don to play the part required of me. At least that way, I would know my lines and speak them; at least that way I could simply play the part and not get hurt.

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